25 Most Important Things Ever Said About Children,
Parents, and Life
By Jed Diamond, Ph.D.
Contact: Jed@MenAlive.com www.MenAlive.com
Growing up I never thought much about having children. I thought
about baseball, basketball, football, and Fran with the big blue eyes.
I now have 5 grown children and 11 grandchildren. But my life
changed forever on November 21, 2009 when Jemal was born.
Here’s how it began.
It was cold that late November day in 1969. My wife and I were tired of the
looks we received from friends as they looked at her bulging belly. Their eyes
would lift and the question was obvious. “Not yet, huh?” My wife’s eyes replied
with a mixture of anxiety and anger, “No, not yet, as you can see. But it better be
soon.”
I was a month shy of my 26th birthday. My wife was 22. It was our first child
and we were both ready for the birth. The childbirth classes had ended. We had
practiced our breathing, had her bags packed, some pictures to focus her
attention, and the well wishes of friends. All we needed now was for the baby to
decide the time was right to come into the world.
I admit, I had agreed to join the birthing classes and to be with my wife
through the labor because it seemed to be the right thing to do. Most of our
friends who were pregnant were doing it. My wife wanted me to be there. I
wanted to support her. My terror was that I would pass out in the delivery room
and have to be carried out before they could attend to the birth. I had never done
well with blood. It was one of the reasons I had dropped out of medical school.
The contractions began in the afternoon and we dutifully timed them. When
we were sure the birth was imminent, we called the hospital. I tried to remain
calm, but I was at the edge of panic. My wife seemed to be taking it in stride.
When we got settled into her room, the nurse checked her and told us that we
had a long way to go.
I helped pace her with her breathing and wiped her forehead. I fed her ice
chips and rubbed her neck and shoulders. There was a young girl who was
sharing the room and though she was on the other side, it was clear that she was
alone and very frightened. I offered some words of encouragement and was glad
I was with my wife to give her support.
As the hours progressed and we wondered if it would go on forever, I thought
of what the Kaiser hospital doctor had told us. Whether the father would be
allowed in the delivery room would be up to the doctor who was on duty at the
time of the birth. When I began the process, I found myself hoping that we’d get
a traditional doctor who would want me to wait outside. That way I could save
face with my wife. “Darn, I wanted to be with you all the way, but the doctor
wouldn’t let me.”
But as time went on and I felt more connected to my wife and our soon to be
born baby, my desires began to shift. I wanted to be there for the whole show.
Leaving began to feel like abandoning my wife and child. It also felt like I would
be missing the last act of a play that had begun nine months ago. “I might be
scared, but I’m not going to let myself pass out. I want to be there.”
When the contractions were the most intense and her breathing was coming
in short gasps, the nurses said it was time to move into the delivery room. As
they transferred my wife from the bed to the gurney to wheel her in, the nurse
informed me that the doctor asked that I now wait in the waiting room.
A wave of relief washed over me as I hugged my wife and squeezed her
hand. “Maybe it’s for the best,” I thought. “They don’t need a frightened father to
contend with.”
I began my long walk down the hallway leading away from the delivery room
towards the waiting room to join the other expectant fathers. I was surprised to
find that I didn’t feel frightened. I felt frustrated. As I got ready to push through
the exit doors leading to the waiting room, I found I couldn’t make myself go
through.
Something drew me back, some force beyond reason. I turned around and
walked back up the hallway and into the delivery room. I took my place at the
head of the table and gave my wife a kiss on the forehead. There was no
question of my leaving if asked. I was here to stay. My place was with my wife
and our soon to be born son.
I felt that it was his spirit that had called me back. “I want my father with me. I
don’t want him in the waiting room.” Minutes later amidst tears of pain and
delight my son, Jemal, was born. His cord was cut and the doctor handed him to
me.
In the moment in which I looked into his beautiful face I made a vow in
answer to his call for me. I told him I would do everything I could to be a father
who was totally involved in his life. I told him that I would be there for him now
and forever. I told him I would never wait in life’s waiting rooms even if the
society told me that’s where a father belonged. I told him I would be a more
involved father than my father had been able to be. I told him I would do
everything I could to create a world where men remained healthy throughout their
lives, in body, mind and spirit. In those few moments we crafted a bond that I
know will last a life time.
These are my favorite quotes about children, parenting, and life.
I hope you like them.
25. “To nourish children and raise them against odds is in any time,
any place, more valuable than to fix bolts in cars or design nuclear
weapons”.--Marilyn French
24. “You can learn many things from children. How much patience
you have, for instance.” --Franklin P. Jones
23. “One generation plants the trees; another gets the shade.”
--Chinese proverb
22. “A three-year-old child is a being who gets almost as much fun
out of a fifty-six dollar set of swings as it does out of finding a small
green worm.” --Bill Vaughn
21. “No matter how old a mother is, she watches her middle-aged
children for signs of improvement.” --Florida Scott-Maxwell
20. “When I approach a child, he inspires in me two sentiments;
tenderness for what he is, and respect for what he may become.”
--Louis Pasteur
19. “The first half of our lives is ruined by our parents, and the
second half by our children.” --Clarence Darrow
18. “One thing they never tell you about child raising is that for the
rest of your life, at the drop of a hat, you are expected to know your
child's name and how old he or she is.” --Erma Bombeck
17. “Parents can only give good advice or put them on the right
paths, but the final forming of a person's character lies in their own
hands.” -- --Anne Frank
16. “Don't limit a child to your own learning, for he was born in
another time.” --Rabbinical saying
15. “Providence protects children and idiots. I know because I have
tested it.” --Mark Twain
14. “There are only two lasting bequests we can hope to give our
children. One is roots; the other, wings.” --Hodding Carter
13. “Children are like wet cement. Whatever falls on them makes an
impression.” -- Dr. Haim Ginott
12. “Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up
children; now I have six children and no theories.” --John Wilmot
11. “If a child is to keep alive his inborn sense of wonder, he needs
the companionship of at least one adult who can share it,
rediscovering with him the joy, excitement and mystery of the world
we live in.” --Rachel Carson
10. “At work, you think of the children you have left at home. At
home, you think of the work you've left unfinished. Such a struggle is
unleashed within yourself. Your heart is rent.” --Golda Meir
9. “Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children.”
--George Bernard Shaw
8. “If you bungle raising your children, I don't think whatever else you
do well matters very much.” --Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis
7. “You know your children are growing up when they stop asking
you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they're
going.” --P. J. O'Rourke
6. “If we don't stand up for children, then we don't stand for much.”
--Marian Wright Edelman
5. “I love people. I love my family, my children . . . but inside myself
is a place where I live all alone and that's where you renew your
springs that never dry up.” --Pearl S. Buck
4. “All children are artists. The problem is how to remain an artist
once he grows up.” --Pablo Picasso
3. “I have found the best way to give advice to your children is to find
out what they want and then advise them to do it.” --Harry S Truman
2. “The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love
their mother”.--Theodore Hesburgh
1. “Your children are not your children. / They are the sons and
daughters of Life's longing for itself.” --Kahlil Gibran
I look forward to hearing your favorites.
Drop a note here or contact me at Jed@MenAlive.com
www.MenAlive.com
Parents, and Life
By Jed Diamond, Ph.D.
Contact: Jed@MenAlive.com www.MenAlive.com
Growing up I never thought much about having children. I thought
about baseball, basketball, football, and Fran with the big blue eyes.
I now have 5 grown children and 11 grandchildren. But my life
changed forever on November 21, 2009 when Jemal was born.
Here’s how it began.
It was cold that late November day in 1969. My wife and I were tired of the
looks we received from friends as they looked at her bulging belly. Their eyes
would lift and the question was obvious. “Not yet, huh?” My wife’s eyes replied
with a mixture of anxiety and anger, “No, not yet, as you can see. But it better be
soon.”
I was a month shy of my 26th birthday. My wife was 22. It was our first child
and we were both ready for the birth. The childbirth classes had ended. We had
practiced our breathing, had her bags packed, some pictures to focus her
attention, and the well wishes of friends. All we needed now was for the baby to
decide the time was right to come into the world.
I admit, I had agreed to join the birthing classes and to be with my wife
through the labor because it seemed to be the right thing to do. Most of our
friends who were pregnant were doing it. My wife wanted me to be there. I
wanted to support her. My terror was that I would pass out in the delivery room
and have to be carried out before they could attend to the birth. I had never done
well with blood. It was one of the reasons I had dropped out of medical school.
The contractions began in the afternoon and we dutifully timed them. When
we were sure the birth was imminent, we called the hospital. I tried to remain
calm, but I was at the edge of panic. My wife seemed to be taking it in stride.
When we got settled into her room, the nurse checked her and told us that we
had a long way to go.
I helped pace her with her breathing and wiped her forehead. I fed her ice
chips and rubbed her neck and shoulders. There was a young girl who was
sharing the room and though she was on the other side, it was clear that she was
alone and very frightened. I offered some words of encouragement and was glad
I was with my wife to give her support.
As the hours progressed and we wondered if it would go on forever, I thought
of what the Kaiser hospital doctor had told us. Whether the father would be
allowed in the delivery room would be up to the doctor who was on duty at the
time of the birth. When I began the process, I found myself hoping that we’d get
a traditional doctor who would want me to wait outside. That way I could save
face with my wife. “Darn, I wanted to be with you all the way, but the doctor
wouldn’t let me.”
But as time went on and I felt more connected to my wife and our soon to be
born baby, my desires began to shift. I wanted to be there for the whole show.
Leaving began to feel like abandoning my wife and child. It also felt like I would
be missing the last act of a play that had begun nine months ago. “I might be
scared, but I’m not going to let myself pass out. I want to be there.”
When the contractions were the most intense and her breathing was coming
in short gasps, the nurses said it was time to move into the delivery room. As
they transferred my wife from the bed to the gurney to wheel her in, the nurse
informed me that the doctor asked that I now wait in the waiting room.
A wave of relief washed over me as I hugged my wife and squeezed her
hand. “Maybe it’s for the best,” I thought. “They don’t need a frightened father to
contend with.”
I began my long walk down the hallway leading away from the delivery room
towards the waiting room to join the other expectant fathers. I was surprised to
find that I didn’t feel frightened. I felt frustrated. As I got ready to push through
the exit doors leading to the waiting room, I found I couldn’t make myself go
through.
Something drew me back, some force beyond reason. I turned around and
walked back up the hallway and into the delivery room. I took my place at the
head of the table and gave my wife a kiss on the forehead. There was no
question of my leaving if asked. I was here to stay. My place was with my wife
and our soon to be born son.
I felt that it was his spirit that had called me back. “I want my father with me. I
don’t want him in the waiting room.” Minutes later amidst tears of pain and
delight my son, Jemal, was born. His cord was cut and the doctor handed him to
me.
In the moment in which I looked into his beautiful face I made a vow in
answer to his call for me. I told him I would do everything I could to be a father
who was totally involved in his life. I told him that I would be there for him now
and forever. I told him I would never wait in life’s waiting rooms even if the
society told me that’s where a father belonged. I told him I would be a more
involved father than my father had been able to be. I told him I would do
everything I could to create a world where men remained healthy throughout their
lives, in body, mind and spirit. In those few moments we crafted a bond that I
know will last a life time.
These are my favorite quotes about children, parenting, and life.
I hope you like them.
25. “To nourish children and raise them against odds is in any time,
any place, more valuable than to fix bolts in cars or design nuclear
weapons”.--Marilyn French
24. “You can learn many things from children. How much patience
you have, for instance.” --Franklin P. Jones
23. “One generation plants the trees; another gets the shade.”
--Chinese proverb
22. “A three-year-old child is a being who gets almost as much fun
out of a fifty-six dollar set of swings as it does out of finding a small
green worm.” --Bill Vaughn
21. “No matter how old a mother is, she watches her middle-aged
children for signs of improvement.” --Florida Scott-Maxwell
20. “When I approach a child, he inspires in me two sentiments;
tenderness for what he is, and respect for what he may become.”
--Louis Pasteur
19. “The first half of our lives is ruined by our parents, and the
second half by our children.” --Clarence Darrow
18. “One thing they never tell you about child raising is that for the
rest of your life, at the drop of a hat, you are expected to know your
child's name and how old he or she is.” --Erma Bombeck
17. “Parents can only give good advice or put them on the right
paths, but the final forming of a person's character lies in their own
hands.” -- --Anne Frank
16. “Don't limit a child to your own learning, for he was born in
another time.” --Rabbinical saying
15. “Providence protects children and idiots. I know because I have
tested it.” --Mark Twain
14. “There are only two lasting bequests we can hope to give our
children. One is roots; the other, wings.” --Hodding Carter
13. “Children are like wet cement. Whatever falls on them makes an
impression.” -- Dr. Haim Ginott
12. “Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up
children; now I have six children and no theories.” --John Wilmot
11. “If a child is to keep alive his inborn sense of wonder, he needs
the companionship of at least one adult who can share it,
rediscovering with him the joy, excitement and mystery of the world
we live in.” --Rachel Carson
10. “At work, you think of the children you have left at home. At
home, you think of the work you've left unfinished. Such a struggle is
unleashed within yourself. Your heart is rent.” --Golda Meir
9. “Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children.”
--George Bernard Shaw
8. “If you bungle raising your children, I don't think whatever else you
do well matters very much.” --Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis
7. “You know your children are growing up when they stop asking
you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they're
going.” --P. J. O'Rourke
6. “If we don't stand up for children, then we don't stand for much.”
--Marian Wright Edelman
5. “I love people. I love my family, my children . . . but inside myself
is a place where I live all alone and that's where you renew your
springs that never dry up.” --Pearl S. Buck
4. “All children are artists. The problem is how to remain an artist
once he grows up.” --Pablo Picasso
3. “I have found the best way to give advice to your children is to find
out what they want and then advise them to do it.” --Harry S Truman
2. “The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love
their mother”.--Theodore Hesburgh
1. “Your children are not your children. / They are the sons and
daughters of Life's longing for itself.” --Kahlil Gibran
I look forward to hearing your favorites.
Drop a note here or contact me at Jed@MenAlive.com
www.MenAlive.com
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